Not Your Usual Christmas
By: June Robinson
By: June Robinson
A few years ago, my brother Jack and his wife Laura were here
for Christmas. Being the only early riser, I had dressed and eaten,
and I went out on the back porch to feed my dogs, Chico and
Buddy. When they saw me and ignored their food, their sheepish
demeanor suggested, "Oh, hi. Not hungry this morning, thank
you.....no reason you understand......" I immediately thought they
had drug up or killed an animal, and that I'd see the remains in
the yard. Imagine my surprise, when on the bottom step, coming
up the porch, was....... a country ham !!!! I couldn't believe it! I
gingerly picked it up to examine it. It had evidently been drug up
the driveway because it had gravel on the bottom. It had also
been thoroughly tested, as evidenced by teeth marks and chunks
missing.
When Jack and Laura got up, Laura said, "Oh, what if someone
poisoned the ham?" I assured her that no one in the state of
Kentucky would waste a country ham that way! Well, we tried
to figure out how the heck the dogs could produce a country
ham. I mean, what do you do? Put on the radio, "Found; a
partially eaten country ham"? Do you go door to door to your neighbors and ask if they've lost a now chewed-on country ham? On Christmas day? (I don't think so). My nearest neighbors are a half mile from my house, and I'd never known the dogs to venture off of my property. I really don't think Santa brought it, but you never know.....
We never did find out where that ham came from and how the dogs came to drag it to the house. I finally sliced it up and put it in the refrigerator, giving the dogs a bit of it every day. I went to Florida a few weeks after the holidays, and a friend fed the dogs for me. I asked her to please give them a bit of the ham every day. When I returned home after a week, Chico and Buddy came out of their houses, looked at me, as if to say, "Oh. It's you....ho-hum. Where's the ham?" Then, they turned and went back in their doghouses! So much for a warm welcome home. Took me a week to convince them that I was now the ham lady again.
When the ham was all eaten, there was a long period of adjustment for them, going back to "just" dog food!
(Let's see...it would have to be frozen so they wouldn't eat it.....) Hmmm...this year, I'm hoping for maybe some securely packaged steaks.
Just to cover all bases: Are you listening, Santa? I've been good.....
for Christmas. Being the only early riser, I had dressed and eaten,
and I went out on the back porch to feed my dogs, Chico and
Buddy. When they saw me and ignored their food, their sheepish
demeanor suggested, "Oh, hi. Not hungry this morning, thank
you.....no reason you understand......" I immediately thought they
had drug up or killed an animal, and that I'd see the remains in
the yard. Imagine my surprise, when on the bottom step, coming
up the porch, was....... a country ham !!!! I couldn't believe it! I
gingerly picked it up to examine it. It had evidently been drug up
the driveway because it had gravel on the bottom. It had also
been thoroughly tested, as evidenced by teeth marks and chunks
missing.
When Jack and Laura got up, Laura said, "Oh, what if someone
poisoned the ham?" I assured her that no one in the state of
Kentucky would waste a country ham that way! Well, we tried
to figure out how the heck the dogs could produce a country
ham. I mean, what do you do? Put on the radio, "Found; a
partially eaten country ham"? Do you go door to door to your neighbors and ask if they've lost a now chewed-on country ham? On Christmas day? (I don't think so). My nearest neighbors are a half mile from my house, and I'd never known the dogs to venture off of my property. I really don't think Santa brought it, but you never know.....
We never did find out where that ham came from and how the dogs came to drag it to the house. I finally sliced it up and put it in the refrigerator, giving the dogs a bit of it every day. I went to Florida a few weeks after the holidays, and a friend fed the dogs for me. I asked her to please give them a bit of the ham every day. When I returned home after a week, Chico and Buddy came out of their houses, looked at me, as if to say, "Oh. It's you....ho-hum. Where's the ham?" Then, they turned and went back in their doghouses! So much for a warm welcome home. Took me a week to convince them that I was now the ham lady again.
When the ham was all eaten, there was a long period of adjustment for them, going back to "just" dog food!
(Let's see...it would have to be frozen so they wouldn't eat it.....) Hmmm...this year, I'm hoping for maybe some securely packaged steaks.
Just to cover all bases: Are you listening, Santa? I've been good.....
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June Lyne Robinson is a retired educator and government employee. She is a former chair of the Logan County Democratic Executive Committee. One of the dogs who stars in this remembrance Buddy is picture here. June tells The LoJo, "Chico has gone on to the Big Dog House where good dogs go."